Fuck L.R.H. and fuck all his clones

Man, this is so fucked up. Although, I've got to say that I really shouldn't be too surprised. If you haven't heard already, the word is that Tom Cruise has blackmailed Viacom (parent company of Comedy Central) by threatening "to cancel all publicity for Mission Impossible:3 if Comedy Central aired Trapped In The Closet, the episode that satirizes Scientology and mocks his sexuality again."

Even if there was something at stake, why wouldn't Comedy Central call Cruise's bluff? I really thought they would have Parker and Stone's back more than this. Besides, no one gives a shit if Cruise campaigns for MI:3 anyway. People who want to see it will do so independent of whether or not Tom tells them to. Seriously, you get the hottest chick on the 'Creek, completely warp her mind, knock her up, give her herpes, and then have the nerve to think that people still respect you. Dick.

Regardless, Parker and Stone's attorney has released a statement that almost makes it better. And yes, it really is an official release from their attorney:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

-Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu

So, I hope they do something in retaliation. It just blows my fucking mind that people will cave into pressure like that. Or that folks will kowtow to an institution that is so ridiculous. On the other hand, Glovo did do a good Chef back in the day. Maybe he could be the replacement.